Sic Transit Billy Mays (1958 – 2009)

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Hi, Billy Mays here for Oxi-Heaven!

Are you tired of afterlives that promise you everything, but deliver nothing? Then try new Oxi-Heaven! It gets your halos brighter than bright, with harps that sound like the voices of angels!

Call now and as a special offer, we’ll give you Oxi-Purgatory absolutely free with your order, but you gotta call now!

(we’ll miss you, Billy! Pitchmen was great and fascinating!)

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