Even More Religious Evil!

It seems like nary a week goes by that I don’t have at least one chance to bitch about how basically evil religion is.

Take the case of two people in Somalia who had an affair. Sadly, it was adultry and now the man has been stoned to death. The woman is scheduled to be murdered by the crowds as well, but they’re going to wait until she gives birth.

Well, how kind.

Now it’s true that Somalia is a sad, messed-up, horribly backwards country. I place the blame for that squarely on religion. Yes, you can have countries where there’s a lot of religious belief and you don’t end up with crimes like these (America, for example), but you’d never get this sort of nonsense in a properly secular society.

What a fucking mess.

Enslaving Canadians

My mom sent me the following in an email. Enjoy!

Why Can’t I Own a Canadian?

October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,

(name removed)

Note to Stumblers:
Some comments criticizing this piece indicate that it was “hijacked” from a West Wing episode.

This Level of Evil Requires Religion

Two weeks ago here in Arizona a twenty-year-old woman was hit by a car. She died from her injuries just the other day. Now her father is going to be charged with murdering her, and what was his motive? Apparently, religion.

Yes, the woman’s father had decided she’d become too “Westernized” (ie: insufficiently Islamic), to be allowed to live, so he had to murder her. I’m sure he viewed it basically as an honor killing.

People sometimes ask what harm religion is. Why not believe? It doesn’t hurt anyone. But clearly it does. This sort of killing wouldn’t have happened had both the man and his daughter been atheists, I can virtually gaurantee that. An atheist, seeing his daughter falling away from his personal beliefs and, say, under the sway of, oh, Scientology, would likely wring his hands in despair and try to talk with her and do any number of things. But he wouldn’t kill her.

That level of evil requires religion.

Depicting Muhammad

On the BBC’s website is a little story about a plan to make a biopic about the life of Muhammad. For myself, I think this is a great idea! He’s an interesting person that people outside Islam generally know nothing about. We’ve had movies about Jesus and movies about Moses, but only two so far about Muhammad and it’d be nice to see that change, especially if it’s, you know, a good movie.

Of course one of the slight snags to this plan is that Islam prohibits depections of Muhammad. That’s something of a problem if you want to make a movie about the man, though it’s a problem one of the two movies about him managed to overcome.

Of course like all Muslim laws, this one only applies to people who are, you know, Muslim. Folks like me who aren’t don’t have to follow them, and especially those of us who live in a democracy that has free speech and the like don’t have to follow them and can, if we wish, go out of our way to be obnoxious about Islam and Muhammad. Hell, I think that just to be obnoxious right now, I’ll throw up the Jyllands-Posten cartoons onto here.

Nothing like a little obnixiousness!

Anyhow, I hope the project goes forward. I’d rather like to see a good movie about Muhammad, especially if they do it without the childish pandering of not actually showing him or hearing his voice. That’s just stupid.

Also stupid is expecting other people to obey your religious beliefs. If you’re going to do that, why not get angry over the fact that non-Muslims eat pork? Or drink alcohol? Or have sex outside marriage? Or don’t use your calendar? Or that we don’t fast during Ramadan? Or any of the number of your rules we break because we aren’t Muslim?

Basically the message here is this: Muslims, you aren’t anything special in a free society. We have the right to mock anyone and any religion we please and we certainly have right to not follow your religious rules and you don’t have the right to try and force us to.

Get over yourselves.

Playing on God’s Team

I’ll admit it. I don’t “get” football. Well, not the American version of it, which as I type this is being played in England. The Patriots vs the London Silly Nannies. I find the game of football to be frankly dull as dishwater. I think of it as five seconds of action punctuated by two minutes of conversion centering around what happened and what to do next, then five more seconds of action carefully scheduled around commercials.

Zzzzz…

I’m also reminded of some commentator, I don’t remember who, that said football mixed the worst in American culture, in that it combined violence with committee meetings. Sounds about right.

Sadly these days it also mixes in another unpleasant aspect of American culture: the desire to rub religion in everyone’s face.

I can’t remember the number of times I’ve seen recaps of football games that show someone scoring a touchdown and then dropping to their knees, or doing something cool and pointing skyward or talking to reporters after the game and thanking God. Strangely they never seem to say, “Well, God wanted us to lose this one,” when they fail.

It’s not just football. This nonsense permeates other games as well, including the only sport I pay any real attention to; baseball. It’s not as endemic there, but I have seen players pointing skyward as they run the bases after a home run.

I’m not the only one getting irrtated about this trend. Bill Maher has commented on it several times and there’s an editorial in USA Today talking about the issue as well, as well as this editorial here. Have fun reading those and check the tolerant, loving comments from God’s followers!

I find this public display of piety by sports stars to be distasteful at best. I really wish the leagues would crack down on this and tell people to push their religious beliefs during their private time; that the sporting arena is not the place to try and shove their agenda down everyone’s throat (and please note, I’m not saying the government should do this. I think the leagues should).

But I know this will never happen. They’d piss off too many people and probably think that a great many people will just stop watching the games and buying the products. They won’t, of course, but the teams won’t want to take the chance.

So we’ll have to continue to put up with this stupidity and false piety. I’ll just deal with it the way I deal with most things that annoy me: roll my eyes and write snarky blog articles!

That Damn Liberal Bible!

Did you know the New Testament has a massively liberal bias? Yeah, neither did I. Fortunately, the crew at Conservapedia has gone completely off the rails and decided it’s time for them to create a conservative version of the Bible. Yeah. They’re just that nuts!

So I guess, basically, the Bible is the uncorrupted, perfect word of God… except when it’s liberal!

Glenn Beck to Atheists: You Suck!

Just when you thought Glenn Beck couldn’t get more batshit nuts, along comes this video.

So, basically, it’s the fault of atheists. Yep, we’re what causes every single problem in America. Oh, if only America were back with God, what a great, wonderful, glorious nation we would be!

A few things about this video.

1. All our money says “in God we trust”, sadly. It’s a stupid, meaningless phrase that shouldn’t be on our money, but is. I have no idea what Beck is talking about here.

2. Why are they blurring the faces of these kids signing? Oh, and for the record, yeah, it’s tacky to have kids signing the praises of one particular president.

3. Yes, no Christmas carols and no prayers in public schools. It’s all about the Establishment Clause, Mr Beck. Look it up. I know you seem to have a hard time telling the difference between the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, so I’ll give you a hint: it’s in the latter.

You know, this whole tirade of his is exactly the same bullshit pedaled by Pat Robertson after Katrina when he said God removed his special shield over America because of the gays.

Beck, btw, is a Mormon. Yes, he believes the single most asinine religion this side of Scientology. Factor that into your thinking on this man.

Badger to Glenn Beck: Fuck Off!

Qa’pla!

I can’t tell if this is a serious website or not. Klingons for Christ. Indeed.

So Cute… and So True! :)

Missouri High School Bands Evolution

A high school marching band in Missouri used an evolution motif on their t-shirts. It’s cute, if a bit simplistic. Problem is, the concept pissed off a lot of people (ie: Christians), and the t-shirt got banned.

This was done under the guise of religious neutrality, which is a stupid, wrong excuse. Yes, the government (and public schools are part of that), should maintain a strictly neutral view towards religion. But evolution is not a religious issue; it’s a scientific fact. If the band did something based off the Big Bang, or something based on the age of the Earth, would the school have banned that as well?

Money quote on this issue:

Band parent Sherry Melby, who is a teacher in the district, stands behind Pollitt’s decision. Melby said she associated the image on the T-shirt with Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution.

“I was disappointed with the image on the shirt,” Melby said. “I don’t think evolution should be associated with our school.”

Lady, there’s private schools out there. Please send your child to one of them and stop dragging down the rest of the students.