Kids These Days…

Recently, Phoenix CBS afiliate KPHO televised a report on high school kids soaking tampons in vodka and then inserting them as a way to get drunk. No, really. Yes, they actually said that. Seriously! Hey, come back! I’m not making this up!

Anyhow, this was, naturally, Colbert-bait, and he had a field day destroying the notion. But then one internet writer took it a step farther. She actually tried doing it. The whole article bears reading, but here’s a highlight:

I repaired to the bathroom and — without too much information here — managed to wad the thing up and push it in where it was supposed to go. (Did it help that I’ve had three kids? Possibly.) Girls, don’t do this in your best party dresses: I think I lost another half-ounce in the process as it splattered on to my clothes and the floor. No need to say “Bottoms up!”


Oh sweet mother of Jeez—-


Absolut… firewater!!!!!!! Holy sheeeeeeeee…

It felt like someone had thrown a lit match in there. I began hopping around and breathing in the rapid, short puffs I’d learned in birth classes, so long ago, before I realized I didn’t need to breathe like that if I took the epidural.

Go have a look. Trust me. 🙂

For the record, back in my day when kids wanted to get drunk they did so by drinking alcohol, which is, as far as I’m aware, basically the only way to do it, and the same way kids today get the job done.