Argh, Hipsters

Bärte, ja. Hipster Idioten, nein!

Bärte, ja. Hipster Idioten, nein!

There are a lot of things I miss about living in the northwest. I’ll admit, August in Phoenix where it’s 115 isn’t quite as pleasant as August in Lacey, WA, where it’s 85…on a hot day. I also really, really miss the hell out of the politics. Arizona politics is famously, as Alexis de Toqueville once put it, baisée dans la tête (not an exact quote). I also miss going to Mariners games, even if the team itself does, as Rene Descartes once put it, sucer plus fort que une vieille pute française (not an exact quote). But there’s one thing I don’t miss about life up there, not even a bit. I do not miss what was once described by Karl Marx as etwas noch anspruchsvoller als mit fremden Zitate (an exact quote), and that’s obnoxious hipster idiots.

Now I left Washington state before the modern hipster movement was really a thing, but let me tell you a little something about the town I grew up in, Lacey, WA. Lacey is a bedroom community to Ft. Lewis and to Olympia, the state capital. Really Lacey, Olympia and Tumwater are all essentially one bigish city. An important feature of this area, in addition to a street named Sleater Kinney (this will be important later, sort of. Not really), is the Evergreen State College, incubator of the modern hipster idiots.

Ah, Evergreen, what can one say about you? You with the “womyn“, your clothing option beach (always a plus during those hot Pac NW summers), your liberal politics and your unshaven bodies. A place where an initialism like LGBTQMSMFWB would be considered extremely exclusionary, since there’s no “A” in there. A place where people will use words like “genderqueer” at you, and do so intentionally. A place where the modern hipster could be easily seen some 15 years ago when I was last there for GeoCon. It is, in short, a place that I think of every time I see the following video:

Yes, I know, that’s not Evergreen, it’s Portland. It is, perhaps, worth noting that the woman in that video used to front a band called Sleater-Kinney, so make of that what you wish.

I suppose there’s not really any point to this rather rambling article. I was just feeling vaguely nostalgic for Washington state, and then remembered Evergreen. I’ll say this for Arizona. We don’t have nearly the same level of progressive politics, equality, sensible laws, education, labor laws or other good things, but at least we have far, far fewer hipster douchebags just begging for a smack.


2 Responses to “Argh, Hipsters”

  1. Susan Says:

    You failed to articulate exactly what it is that you hate about hipsters.

    • Chris Says:

      Oh, I thought that was just something people knew. Fair enough. They’re entirely about pretention, and that’s one thing I hate about all other things. Pretentious people wearing pretentious clothes and drinking pretentious drinks. All this adds up to a pile of sick waiting to be licked up by the nearest passing dog. Hipsters…ugh.

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