(pardon me whilst I step up onto the labor soapbox)
Friends, our brothers and sisters in labor are toiling in the streets of New York. They protest against the corporate giants that employ them. What is their demand, you ask? Do they want sick time? No. Do they want better vacation pay? No. Do they ask, nay, demand decent health care? Not even that. What is it that that they want? They want better pay. They want an increase in their wages.
Now these poor, gigantic, multi-national, multi-billion dollar profit corporations complain and they whine and they talk about how they can’t possibly afford to pay their workers more than they already do! Why surely, they say, a minimum wage of slightly under eight dollars an hour is onerous enough as it is! You certainly can’t expect them to shoulder the burden of paying nine, or even ten, dollars an hour! Why, we might end up like Australia, where the minimum wage is nearly fifteen dollars an hour in US terms, and certainly no company, like McDonald’s or Wendy’s, could ever survive in such a climate! No, they cry! Someone must stand up and force these workers to remain at subsistence wages as long as humanly possible!
Well I say no. No more of this. I am done with fast food, and I ask that you stand by me. I am ending my purchases of food from McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, Arby’s, Jack in the Box, Dominos (which is at least similar to fast food in their operations), and any other restaurants that feature a drive-thru window (also, note to idiots: it’s spelled “through”, and while Eddie Izzard once said, “That’s just cheating at Scrabble!” it’s still correct). I shall eat no more at these places. Not until the wage increases demanded by the workers in New York City are met.
Now, of course, I, a lone voice in the wilderness, cannot succeed at this on my own. So I ask you, the dozens of readers I get each day, to stand by me, and to stand by your fellow citizens of labor. If the giant companies who pay their CEOs untold millions cannot allow an extra two dollars an hour to the people who generate all that money for them, then they can just go to Hell. Don’t eat at any fast food places. Stand by your fellow man.