There are, from time-to-time, genuine UFOs. They are, in the most literal sense, objects that are flying and are unidentified. 99% of the time, they become identified. Almost 100% of the time, that isn’t good enough for the UFO nuts.
A few years back, there was something known as the Phoenix Lights. This was a series of lights that…well, just read the Wikipedia article.
So odd lights behaving oddly, and seeming to be interesting. Neat! So very quickly people began to look into this, and discovered that the lights were flares, on parachutes, falling to the earth after having been dropped from an Air Force vehicle. Problem solved. The UFOs are now the lesser-known cousin, IFOs.
So why is it that when the local news, which I loathe, was covering the Phoenix Light anniversary a few days ago, one of the anchors felt the need to point out that there’s never been any explanation? Oh, right, because the local news sucks, and the media really needs to stop playing this up like it’s actually a thing. Since apparently a few million people haven’t gotten the message, let me say this:
They were flares. They were flares. They were flares. THEY WERE FUCKING FLARES ON GODDAMN PARACHUTES! There is no mystery here. There was a mystery, it has been solved, they were flares! They were flares when they first happened, and they were flares when I saw them a year or two ago. THEY WERE FUCKING FLARES. Can we please get over this?!