A Vaguely Annoyed Man Decided to Write Something for His Blog. What Happened Next Will Blow Your Mind.


Dear Upworthy;

You mean well. I know you mean well. But you’re just awful. Your gigantic click-bait headlines are terrible, and the stories they link to almost never live up to the hype.

The basic idea of your site-drawing people’s attention to positive stories that “the internet likes”, which might otherwise escape their notice-is a good one. I have no problem with that. But those headlines are so goddamn awful and over-the-top. My Facebook feed is just cluttered with them. And, generally, they just disappoint. I first encountered this when I clicked on a headline that said, something along the lines of “His First Five Sentences Are Interesting. The Next Two Blew My Mind. And Made Me a Little Sick”. It then linked to a Vlog Brother’s YouTube video about healthcare which was fairly interesting, but wasn’t all that great, and certainly wasn’t “mind blowing”.

And that’s the problem with Upworthy. They lack, for want of a better phrase, an “indoor voice”. Everything is described in superlatives. It’s click-bait and nothing but, and it’s oh so irritating.

So I don’t click. I don’t read. I probably miss out on several things I might genuinely find interesting or moving or whatever. But I don’t want to encourage their stupidity.

*** UPDATE ***

Here’s the actual headline from Upworthy that I mangled before. “His First 4 Sentences Are Interesting. The 5th Blew My Mind. And Made Me A Little Sick.” So, yeah, apologies all around, I suppose.

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