Getting Head


The fallout continues over the recent botched execution in Oklahoma. As it does, we as a nation are required to consider whether or not we should have the death penalty, and if so, what methods should be used to kill people who we could just otherwise keep in prison for the rest of their lives? My stance against the death penalty is pretty well-documented at this point, so let’s instead discuss methods.

The electric chair and gas chamber have both been benched for being too cruel. Hanging is potentially an extremely cruel way to die, since it can go pretty wrong pretty easily, leaving someone strangling to death. But there is one sure and certain way to kill someone that leaves them dead, and has a zero percent failure rate, in addition to being very, very quick.

Let’s bring back the guillotine!

It’s quick, it’s certain, it’s humane. It’s almost impossible to screw up, and has, as mentioned, a zero percent failure rate. It just uses gravity to drop a sharp, heavy blade onto someone’s neck, killing them by their head falling off.

Now admittedly, this might be a bit of an extreme measure for people who have to witness this. I’m sure there’d be quite a bit of blood, and watching someone’s head get cut off would probably be fairly traumatizing. Seriously, don’t click that link unless you want to actually see three people executed by this method.

So it would be bloody and grotesque, but it would also be quick and painless and certain. And what’s more important; being humane to the person the state has decided must die rather than just spend their lives locked away in a cell, or the comfort of those watching?

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