Mass-Media Nonsense! – Ebola in America!

In the USA, yes. Dangerous to you personally? No.

In the USA, yes. Dangerous to you personally? No.

So as you may have heard, there’s a pair of Ebola virus victims currently in the United States. They’re here instead of a third-world shithole because, well, this is America, and not a third-world shithole. Here they’re going to get some excellent treatment and will, we all hope, have swift recoveries.

Of course there are also people who are now convinced we’re all going to die, because, you know, Ebola.

The Ebola virus is a particularly nasty one. It basically causes you to die by liquefying your organs, sloughing off your skin, and making you bleed from pretty much any hole you can think of, most especially those you don’t want blood coming from. It’s been isolated to Africa, more or less, and I think most people (aside from Africans), are happy to have it stay there. But now it’s here in the USA and that means…

Well, nothing, really. You kind of have to work to get Ebola. It’s only transmitted through blood, and people are only contagious during their symptomatic stage. So I suppose that as long as you keep a respectful distance from anyone whose skin appears to be falling off, you’ll probably be fine.

And indeed, this is what most responsible media outlets are reporting. Everything is fine. All is swell. There’s no need to worry. NOW WATCH 15 HOURS OF NON-STOP COVERAGE INCLUDING SCARY PICTURES OF PEOPLE IN BIO-HAZARD SUITS AND SICK FOLKS!

So, yeah, Ebola is here. So is smallpox. It’s contained within the CDC, which is in Atlanta where, not surprisingly, the Ebola victims are headed. When was the last time you heard of anyone dying from smallpox? It killed waaaay more people than Ebola ever could. But the last time anyone caught it in “the wild” was in 1977. We’ve been able to keep that contained. We should have no problem keeping Ebola contained.

So stop worrying.


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