Trailer Review – Richie Rich


Let’s be honest. I’m not the target audience for Netflix’s new live-action TV series based on the inexplicably still-in-existence comic book Richie Rich. But that’s still no excuse for this steaming pile.

And, in fact, I think I’ll just sum up the review with the words “steaming pile” and leave it at that.

Superb Owl Movie Trailer Round-Up


Begin!

Looks promising.

I’d be more interested if I have any interest at all in the series. Pass.

I quite liked the first one, so, yes, I’m looking forward to this!

Just in general, I’ve been looking forward to this movie. It has quite a bit of potential.

We’ll see. I remain a bit skeptical, but it might be good.

Pass, pass, pass on ever level.

Trailer Review – Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens


SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

That is all.

Trailer Review – Jupiter Ascending


So this is the trailer for the new movie from the guys (well, now a guy and a gal), who brought us The Matrix and its various sequels. Those movies, while deeply flawed and incredibly pretentious, were at least visually interesting and had a decent flow to them. Now we have another “hard” sci-fi film from them in the form of Jupiter Ascending. Let’s take a look.

A few thoughts. First, given that I basically know everything I know about the movie from the trailer, I must say that I’m pretty interested in seeing this. It does have a very interesting-looking visual style and, unlike many, many, many modern sci-fi films, at least this one doesn’t seem to take place in a dystopic future where everyone travels through their dictatorships by train. Second, the plot, from what I can tell, looks like an interesting take on a fairly cliche idea of a young princess orphaned in an alien place, blah, blah, blah. The idea that she’s somehow fighting for the ownership of Earth could be quite neat!

But then, lastly, there’s the one thing that makes me not want to see this movie: pretension. Just from the trailer, this looks like an incredibly pretentious movie. Notice all the tattoos, for example. Yes, I know this is part of the visual style these directors love, but it is something I really hated about The Matrix and this looks like more of the same.

Still…the trailer is interesting enough that I may want to see the movie. So we’ll see what the reviews are like as it gets closer.

Trailer Reviews – Two Tom Hanks Movies


So award season is coming up soon. With that in mind, the studios are pimping their November/December releases. Here’s two from Tom Hanks.

This looks like a fairly decent movie. I remember the events that happened just a few years ago, and the trailer seems interesting enough. However it does at least somewhat look like an action movie, which I have limited interest in. But if it’s more of a psychological thing, with him dealing with the pirate captain, that sounds like something much more palatable.

This I am substantially more interested in. First off, I had no idea Mary Poppins was a book before it became a movie. Second, I knew nothing at all, really, about the subject matter, and the trailer did a good job of telling me what the movie is about. Of the two, this is the one I expect Hanks will get nominated for, since the role is complete Oscar bait.

So, basically, these are two well-made trailers that show movies I’d quite like to see. I suppose I haven’t got much else to say about them.

Trailer Review – The Wizard of Oz…in 3D…FML


Yeah, this seems necessary.

Fuck you, Warner Brothers. This shit needs to stop right the fuck now. This business of re-doing old movies in 3D is horrible. It was bad enough with Jurassic Park, but at least that was just your basic action film, and the 3D processing was done while the director was still alive. Doing it to a film that predates World War II is rather like colorization, and we all remember how that turned out (though Ted Turner’s apology was nice).

There is absolutely nothing about this trailer that makes me want to go see this. Now let me add that if the movie were back in theaters in 2D, I’d actually like to see it. I’ve never seen The Wizard of Oz in a theater, so that might be kind of neat. But in 3D? Fuck that noise.

Neither myself, nor anyone I know, has ever sat around after watching a 2D/”normal” movie and said, “You know, that Citizen Kane was pretty great and all, but how much better would it be in 3D?” or, “Oh, if only I could watch this while wearing glasses over my glasses!”

My only hope is that the 3D thing continues to die the death it so richly deserves. Sales are down for 3D movies, 3D TV is dying off, and people finally seem to understand that this is a pointless, useless, expensive concept that serves absolutely no artistic purpose. Hopefully it will be gone soon, though I’m sure it’ll resurface in about 30 years.

I really, really hate everything about the concept of redoing The Wizard of Oz in 3D, and I hope it fails so spectacularly at the box office and in home sales that studios get horrified by the thought of ever again crapping all over their classics.

Trailer Review – Final Fantasy XV


Well, I thought after seeing this trailer. Why can’t I review video game trailers, too?

I suppose that in this case, the fundamental question is: do I want to play this game? The more fundamental question really, though, is: do I want to spend $500 to be able to play this game? See, Final Fantasy XV will be on the PlayStation 4, which is fine and dandy, I suppose. It will, however, cost you $400 for the system and likely somewhere north of $60 for the game. So after taxes, I’d be paying $500. Of course I can use the system for other games, but I don’t know that I’d want to.

So I guess that, yeah, I want to play the game. The gameplay shown in the trailer is rather vague, but the plot looks potentially interesting, and the graphics look quite lovely. I am a little annoyed that Square-Enix continues to ignore the whole “fantasy” aspect of the title. Note to game developers: having characters in a modern setting use swords does not make a game “fantasy”, it just makes your characters idiots for not using guns.

I think I’m going to have say “maybe” with regard to this game. I certainly won’t be buying a PS4 just to play it, and regardless, won’t be getting the game or the system on launch day. I’ve really enjoyed the Final Fantasy series as a whole, but I was rather badly burned on Final Fantasy XIII, and from what I gather, FF14 was a clusterfuck of unimaginable levels. Thus, I think I’ll just take a “wait and see” approach.