Papam Non Habemus

Worst troll doll ever.

Worst troll doll ever.

The world is popeless, and all the better for it. Well, not technically popeless, as there are a couple other popes out there, but the Catholic one, Pope Gollum Pope Palpatine Pope Benedict XVI, aka Joe Ratzinger, aka Joey the Rat, has stepped down from office. Yes, we’re in what Christopher Hitchens liked to describe as one of those rare times when no one on Earth is infaliable, and as you can see from the tone here, I’m not above firing a few parting shots at the bastard as he flies off to “retirement”.

And make no mistake, this seems to very much be “retirement”, since he’s going to be called Pope Emeritus, will (eventually), live at the Vatican, be called “his Holiness”, wear everything he’s worn before except the Papal Ring and those stylish red shoes, and will be served by the exact same secretary who will also be serving the new pope. That won’t help but cast a shadow of suspicion over whoever ends up seated on the throne next.

Benny 16 must be classed as a failure pope (please note, that article I linked to is written by a Catholic), in almost every way possible. He came into office hoping to restore the power of the church in Europe, and left it in tatters, with the church severely wounded in his native Germany and collapsing like a house of cards in Ireland, the last major Catholic stronghold in Northern Europe. That, of course, is nothing compared with the child rape crimes that he helped cover up as head of what used to be called the Inquisition. There he went out of his way, under the direction of John Paul II, to do everything he could in order to protect the church, and not its young victims. Of course it’s a given that he’s also furthered the church’s stand against homosexuality, female ordination, married priests and condom use, even among married people to prevent HIV transmitting from one spouse to the other.

Whomever the next pope will be (and my guess is he will be a black African, making him the fourth African to hold the office), he’s likely to continue Benedict’s efforts at dragging the church kicking and screaming back to the time of St. Augustine. One part of me says good; further alienating the church from its members in Europe, North America, Australia and, increasingly, in South America is only to the benefit of the world. But the other part thinks it’s a pity that one of the oldest organizations in the world-an organization I famously disagree with and loathe (see also here, here, and here), on every level-is unable to evolve (something that the church believes in, btw), and focus on the benefits, both temporal and spiritual, that it gives its people.

But at least Benny 16 is officially gone, and thank goodness. The man will never face trial like I want him to, but resigning is the next best thing.


So Long, You Obnoxious Fuck


Back on April 1, 2010, I posted up an article claiming that the Pope was going to resign. I also said that Superman was being sold to Marvel, but none of you bought that last part. Turns out I was accurate about the first claim, though I was a few years off.

Yes, Benny 16, aka Pope Palpatine, aka Pope Gollum, that ghoulish figure who used to run the modern day version of the Inquisition (no, really), has announced that he’s stepping down from his little throne. He’s the first pope to do so since 1415.

I have a few things to say about this. First off, good. The church needs someone who has at least a 20th century view of the world and not an 18th century one. They need someone with at least something close to a modern view of the world, and that’s something Benny 16 severely lacks.

Second, now that he’s going to be stepping down, can we stop pretending that he’s a world leader and arrest his ass? He’s directly responsible for helping to cover up the rapes of many, many children by no small number of priests. At the very least he’s got information that he needs to be sharing. At the very worst, he’s an accessory.

Third, while we’re on this note, can we please stop pretending the Vatican is its own country? Mussolini allowed them to be in return for the Catholic church supporting him. Mussolini. There’s the problem right there. Sure, they have a treaty saying they’re independent and all that, but that doesn’t mean we have to play along. We don’t recognize the existence of Taiwan as a country, and they sure as hell have a better claim to nationhood than the freaking Vatican.

All in all, I really hope the next pope is better than this piece of human garbage for whom I have absolutely zero respect. Also, I really hope the next pope picks the name Lando II, because awesome.

Slip-Sliding on a Slippery Slope?

Benny 16 made some comments that may have great ramifications for the Catholic Church’s evil stand on birth control.

“There could be single cases that can be justified, for instance when a prostitute uses a condom, and this can be a first step towards a moralization, a first assumption of responsibility, to develop again the awareness of the fact that not all is allowed and that one cannot do everything one wants,” Benedict said.

Presumably this would be a male prostitute.

So, ok, here’s the thing: suppose a woman is infertile? Or a man? Couldn’t either of them be allowed to use condoms in those cases? There’s no chance of pregnancy, so why not?

This is at least progress of a sort, I suppose, and certainly better than what Benny 16 said before on the subject. I just look forward to the day that the Church adopts a sane policy on birth control.

More Stupid Remarks From the Pope

Big Poppa Benny 16

Pope Benedict XVI is currently on a state visit to the United Kingdom where, frankly, he should be facing charges. Of course he can’t be charged with anything since he’s the head of a sovereign country. Vatican City shouldn’t be consider its own nation, but it is, so we have to go with that for now.

Anyhow, the other day the Pope compared atheists with Nazis and implied they were trying to bring about an atheist regime in Europe (despite the fact that Hitler was Catholic and the whole Nazi image was built around Christianity). Then he made some even stupider comments about how Christianity is being “marginalized” around the world.

“I cannot but voice my concern at the increasing marginalisation of religion, particularly of Christianity, that is taking place in some quarters, even in nations which place a great emphasis on tolerance.

“There are those who would advocate that the voice of religion be silenced, or at least relegated to the purely private sphere.

“There are those who argue that the public celebration of festivals such as Christmas should be discouraged, in the questionable belief that it might somehow offend those of other religions or none.”

Yeah, you know, Christianity is the largest religion in the world by a fair number. I’m pretty sure we don’t need to worry about it being marginalized, at least in the poor, uneducated countries of the world. First world nations like those in Europe are a different matter, so he might be somewhat right there.

But pay attention to the other stuff he says. Basically he’s saying that religion should be mixed in with politics. He’s also saying that it’s “questionable” that people might be offended by state-sponsored celebrations of specific religious holidays.

Let me put to rest any questions on this issue, Benny 16. I, personally, would be offended to have state-sponsored religious holidays. I am offended when I see the line between church and state being blurred or removed completely.

The Pope also issued some more fairly weak apologies for, you know, all those priests raping kids. From all the evidence it sounds like he was involved in the cover-up from the start and spent a great deal of time and effort helping to hide the priests involved. He should apologize. He should also be investigated criminally and, if there’s evidence, charged.

I know that won’t happen, but I can dream. In the meantime, I still find myself wondering how any person of conscience can continue to remain a part of the Catholic church.

How Deep Does the Rot Go?

So despite what I wrote on April 1, Emperor Palpatine the Pope is still very much in office. Boo, him.

We likely won’t ever know how deep the rot goes in the Catholic church when it comes to the horrific cases of rape and torture that priests have indulged in for centuries. We do know a few things, though, and much of what we know seems to indicate the Pope himself is in this up to his eyeballs.

Daylight Atheism has a wonderful summary of the situation at this point. I highly recommend going there and reading it. He summarizes it all much better than I can.

Go read it, and then if you’re a Catholic, come back and tell me why this man should remain as your leader and for bonus points, tell me why your church isn’t an insanely corrupt institution that should be struck from the Earth.

Yet More Evil From the Vatican

Back a few months ago a nine-year-old Brazilian girl was raped by her step-father. He got her pregnant. With the court’s permission the girl had an abortion and the local bishop retaliated by excommunicating everyone involved (except the girl who, while old enough to give birth, was too young to be excommunicated, and except for her step-father who, though he had raped her, was still eligible for forgiveness). At the time, I thought this was plenty evil enough, but probably the act of some local bishop being an idiot.

Ha, how wrong I was.

Pope Benny 16 issued a statement backing up the bishop’s ruling. This is no great surprise to someone like me, who views the Catholic church as the greatest force of evil in the world, and I’m sure it doesn’t come as a surprise to most of the Catholics out there, but I damn well hope it comes as a disapointment.

In case it doesn’t regard the following statement from a Vatican official, which makes the role of humanity in church quite clear:

“This is not just theory. And you can’t start backpedaling just because the real-life situation carries a certain human weight.”

So the church members and their concerns don’t really matter. All that matters is doctorine and the Church itself. Very good.

Why the hell do you people stay with an organization like this? I think I’ll stick with atheism, where humanity at the forefront of importance.